Sunday, November 12, 2006
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |12:15 PM|
Thursday, October 05, 2006
I haven't had anyone to share my deepest emotions with, lately. Everyone else is busy with their own lives. Jaymee and I are on completely opposite shifts. Misyel had been busy with her "new" posse. Cathy's busy with her 9-month old baby girl. Roggie had been transferred to the Commonwealth site. Maine had already resigned from Convergys. I've always thought that Sekki was too much of a serious, intellectual type, who would not waste her time listening to chronicles of the heart.
I've been somewhat depressed lately. I've been crying alone again. I couldn't seem to find anyone who'd be willing to listen to my stories. I've been keeping my emotions all bottled up inside. It's been lonely. Really lonely.
Earlier today, I asked Sekki to meet me at the base of our office building to chat a bit before I headed for home. When our other friend left and just before I turned to the direction of the condo to get the truck, she started talking about a part of her love life. I found it interesting, so I let her share some more of her story with me. When she said, "Oh Exx, I hope you don't mind." I knew right there and then that we were going to chat for longer than I expected. But don't get me wrong ... it's something I enjoy - talking with friends. After about 10 minutes, I asked her if it was alright with her if we walked to 7-11 and she agreed.
That was at 10:30 AM.
We talked about her story some more then it was my turn to share bits and pieces of mine. That's when I realized that I have been improperly judging her friendship. Sekki listens. She listens with her heart. She appreciates. She's open minded. She may be 7 years my junior; but, we are so on the same wavelength.
I finally headed for the condo by 1:00 PM.
She's an angel sent by God to remind me of his love.
Thanks, Sekk! I truly appreciate your company.
her mood: 
Glad to know someone's still willing to listen.
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |11:03 PM|
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
History repeats itself.
Sometime in February and March, he said he'll make things happen in May. Nothing did. 
I was made to believe some things, which didn't actually exist. For the past couple of months now, he asked me to give him until December to do everything he can so that he will have something for me by then. It was the same thing he requested for in Feb/March, he asked to be given until May. He said he was going to do whatever he could to fix things.
He blames me for our misunderstandings. He says I provoke him, like no other, to get 
angry and to blow up. 
(But he hasn't blown up for quite a while now.) He tells me things at one time and then later on, he will tell me that he didn't mean it the way I understood it. He uses certain words that mean differently in his own little world - something that only he can understand. 
It's already the 3rd of October. Still, it looks like we're both just waiting for things to happen on their own. Well, I have no control over that, really. He always goes back to telling that he's the laid back type of person, that he doesn't really talk much that's why he's often misunderstood, etc. etc. He will get 
mad at me and ask me if I think he's not doing anything on his end to make things work the way we want them to work.
Until now, he hasn't done anything to work towards our goal yet. He's still waiting for the right time. Waiting ... Waiting ... Waiting ... 
I don't know when, to him, is the right time. Maybe when I'm already gone?!
History repeats itself.
her mood: 
somebody just kill me, please?!
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |8:03 AM|
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
It was his and his Dad's birthday yesterday, September 18. I did not send him anything. I want to be on the safe side. Things are not the same anymore, nowadays. I bought him a birthday gift; but, I wouldn't be able to give it to him until he comes back. It's a 5 days & 4 nights trip to Cebu. I've already researched on the hot spots in Cebu. I hope he will like it there.
He used to tell me that it doesn't really matter where we go or what we do; he used to say, "So long as it's with you, it sure will be a great time!" I wonder if he still feels the same way.
I wish Ricky a Happy Birthday! I wonder when we can spend his birthday together.
her mood: missing myricky so much! (photobucket.com doesn't want to load ... i will add my emoticon later)
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |12:43 AM|
Friday, September 08, 2006
Scroll images by bigoo.ws
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |4:56 PM|
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Something Good
_Bic Runga_
Just wanna know ya
Just wanna talk to ya
I wanna hear about your day
I'd never leave ya
Never be mean to ya
I'd always let you get your way
Something good will come our way
And maybe this good thing's gonna happen today
If I were honest I 'd tell you everything
But it keeps coming out as lies
It's not a promise
In case you're wondering
It's not some blessing in disguise
But something good will come our way
And maybe this good thing's gonna happen today
Something good will come our way
And maybe this good things gonna happen today
I know romance is not in fashion
And my heart is on the line
If you would be so kind
To help me kill some time
Then something good just might come crashing
From the stars that light the sky
If you would be so kind
To help me kill some time
Just wanna know ya
Just wanna talk to ya
I wanna hear about your day
I'd never leave ya
Never be mean to ya
I'd always let you get your way
Something good will come our way
And maybe this good thing's gonna happen today
Something good will come our way
And maybe this good things gonna happen today
Something good will come our way
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |11:42 PM|
Good Morning Baby
_Bic_Runga_
Between an overload of information
And a striving for a pure dedication I
Find myself looking for the exit sign
See your pretty face in the sunshine
In the morning after staying up all night I
Want to wake you just to hear you
Tell me it's alright
And all I want to be is too much
Sometimes for me
Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day
Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day
See the stars and all the planets
Fly the great wide world and have it all
Yeah better get a ticket better get in line
I'm praying now for beautiful weather
Take a car and drive forever but I'm
Only ever sitting at the traffic light
And all the world to see is too much
Sometimes for me
Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day
Good morning baby
I hope we're gonna make it through another day
(And when you rise)
And when you rise you'll find me here
(Open your eyes)
And see myself reflected there
(And for awhile)
A little room becomes an everywhere
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |11:22 PM|
He calls me, Bunny! 
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |4:17 PM|
These past two days, I've been rushing home to be with him. But, when I get home, he's not online. He tells me, he takes a nap while I am not home yet; however, he never wakes up until the next day. Two days in a row - it's just like those other times.
We get to read each other's text messages minutes or even hours after we actually receive them. We have been talking less on the phone. We don't see each other online anymore. I try to divert my attention to other things - work, work, and work. When the kids, my brother, and my mom ask me about him, (like, when he's coming back here?, where he will stay?, as well as other different stuff -I just shrugg my shoulders and tell them that he and I don't get to talk much lately; so, I don't know, rEaLLy.
I have been coming home earlier than usual these past few days just to make it online to spend time with him and so that we both won't feel as if we're falling apart. But, most of the time, it's either he is asleep, he has to meet with his family at the mall, or he needs to pick up food. What can I do when all of those are unavoidable. I know I CaNnOT expect other people in this world to treat me the same way I treat them. I cANnoT expect to be taken with a certain degree of importance in their lives as I take them to be, in my life.
I must NOT EXPECT anything from anything and anyone.
It is usually not what happens that makes people upset, frustrated, hurt, or whatnot. It is when we expect one thing to happen but something else happens.
For example: I am driving on my way home and I expect him to be waiting for me online or at least, come online when I get home - but this doesn't happen. So, this makes me feel torn inside.
The problem here is not him or his not coming online even when there had been prior agreement about it. The problem is I EXPECTED. It was MY EXPECTATION that caused me to get disappointed.
I must not EXPECT, I need to UNDERSTAND!
her mood: 
_frustrated_
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |11:32 AM|
Thursday, August 17, 2006
What happened?
Where did I go wrong?
her mood: ???
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chRICKstine está en la nube nueve
at |11:13 PM|
